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1994-03-08
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4KB
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97 lines
Yeeeeeeesss ssiiirrreeee, its another Bullet tip....
FREE PRINTER RIBBONS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, not quite; but after reading this arcticle you know how to save
loadsa money!
When your printer ribbons run out, what do you do....
1. Swear.
2. Break open your piggy bank.
3. Count your coppers.
4. Swear again.
5. See an advert for `Re-Ink`
6. Send your well earned money to a small mail order company.
7. Find out the company has gone into liquidation.
8. Find out if you are covered by the mail order protection.
9. A smug man says `NO`
10. Swear
11. Beat up the nearest person to you.
12. Read this arcticle.
13. Swear
14. Commit suicide.
That sequence of events (although over the top)may sound familiar. But
what can I do to help the dead, nothing. But I can help people who have
just purchased a dot matrix printer.....
A dark night, and the bullet opens up his agony uncle radio phone-in....
Uncle bullet: Hello, and whos on line one?
Sad person: Andy Crane.
Uncle bullet: How can I help you?
Sad person: I`m an Atari owner.
Uncle bullet: Sorry, I can`t help you there.
Uncle bullet: Whos on line two?
Slightly less sad person: I`m Dominic Diamond.
Uncle bullet: And how can I help you, Dominic?
Dominic: I used to present Games Master.
Uncle bullet: Oh well, I suppose someone has to.
Dominic: Thats not all.... 1. Ive got a really anoying scottish accent
2. I have to work with SNES and Megadrives
3. I can`t hit it off with Sarah Whisper (the diver).
4. I don`t like Andy Crane.
5. I watch the Simpsons. (It's great! - Ed)
6. Ive been told Im an orphan.
7. My printer ribbons running out.
8. I want to commit suicide.
Uncle bullet: Well, I think I can help you there......
1. Well its not as bad as Newcastle accent.
2. Either resign or do No.8
3. I don`t think I could either, no-one knows what she looks like under that divers wetsuit.
4. Doesn`t everyone.
5. Yea, its great isn`t it, did you see it last week where....
6. Well you see when parents aren`t quite satified with their creation, they blame it on someone else.
7. Ah ha. Now what you want to do is.......
i, Take your ribbon out of the printer.
ii, Open the ribbon cartridge.
iii, Buy some WD40.
iv, Spay the ribbon with the WD40.
v, Don`t spay colour ribbons because the ink runs.
vi, Close the cartridge.
vii, Place it back in your printer.
iix, Shout `Yes, for once I`ve done something usefull in my life`.
ix, Buy lots of bottles of WD40, and put labels on them that say
`Re-Ink` and sell them for ten times the price of the RRP.
x, Whoops someones already done that.
xi, Swear.
8. Retire and do step no.7
Well I think thats about it for now. If you want a Blue Peter facts
sheet on how to buy, spay and market WD40, then write to:
I want to be rich by selling WD40 to mugs
The Bullet
67 Rosedale Avenue
Stonehouse
Gloucestershire GL10 2QH
ENGLAND